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A NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES
2
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DECEMBER 3RD
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- Thanks for coming to see it with me.
- Don't mention it.
4
00:00:13,520 --> 00:00:16,760
It's crazy how much I love that movie!
5
00:00:16,840 --> 00:00:18,440
I can't figure out for the life of me
6
00:00:18,520 --> 00:00:21,400
how that movie ended up
becoming such a cult classic.
7
00:00:21,480 --> 00:00:22,480
I can't...
8
00:00:22,840 --> 00:00:25,720
I'm pretty sure it's a scientific fact
that everyone likes Love Actually!
9
00:00:25,800 --> 00:00:29,640
Honestly, you could see more impressive
piles of horseshit on any horse farm.
10
00:00:35,600 --> 00:00:39,440
You're kind of being super closed-minded.
I'd say, he isn't entirely incorrect.
11
00:00:39,520 --> 00:00:41,920
There are some logical flaws
in that storyline.
12
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I cherish it more than my family!
13
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One thing is how unrealistic it is.
Like, where do I even begin?
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Look at the female characters.
It screams of patriarchal gender norms.
15
00:00:50,440 --> 00:00:53,440
You have a bunch of women,
written as pathetic husks of human flesh,
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just waiting for a man to enter their life
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and give them motivation
or a reason to speak.
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It's completely primeval
and, honestly, absurd.
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But then you have the screenwriter guy
who owns a country house in Portugal.
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He randomly travels down there
and falls in love with this cleaning lady
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who, as it so happens,
doesn't speak a goddamn lick of English.
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00:01:13,160 --> 00:01:15,536
The writers are, like,
"How can we make this love story work?
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I know! Hire a hot actress."
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The character is as poor
as she is attractive, but don't worry,
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he's somehow rich,
even though he's a writer.
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00:01:22,360 --> 00:01:25,240
So, he begins learning Portuguese
using some kind of audiobook, right?
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And in the space of two or three days,
he ends up fluent in her native language.
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It's a Christmas miracle!
29
00:01:30,400 --> 00:01:34,320
He'll just win her hand in marriage
by saying "I love you" in Portuguese.
30
00:01:34,400 --> 00:01:36,000
Yeah, because that would totally happen!
31
00:01:36,040 --> 00:01:38,000
I always cry
when I watch that scene.
32
00:01:38,080 --> 00:01:39,440
What for?
33
00:01:39,520 --> 00:01:41,480
Because he doesn't go for the fat sister?
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00:01:43,080 --> 00:01:45,240
Your problem is you don't
really give people a chance.
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You have to learn to say yes.
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Yes!
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- No, but...
- Not "no, but."
38
00:01:50,280 --> 00:01:53,000
- "Yes, but..."
- OK, but let me finish the story.
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00:01:53,560 --> 00:01:54,680
Come on! I mean...
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00:01:54,760 --> 00:01:57,560
Purchasing jewelry for a co-worker
does not equate to having an affair.
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00:01:57,640 --> 00:02:00,760
- It's a rom-com. Don't overthink it.
- Yeah, OK.
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00:02:00,840 --> 00:02:02,760
- Want an apple?
- No, thank you.
43
00:02:03,320 --> 00:02:04,320
Two apples.
44
00:02:05,400 --> 00:02:09,080
And that guy Huge Grant... In what world
would a clown like that be Prime Minister?
45
00:02:09,160 --> 00:02:12,600
So, he has a chauffeur, right, who
has to drive this jerk around at night,
46
00:02:12,680 --> 00:02:15,840
looking for a random street,
where they just start knocking on doors?
47
00:02:16,280 --> 00:02:17,960
Oh, really?
The Head of State? Yeah, right!
48
00:02:18,360 --> 00:02:21,920
And then, instead of telling the truth,
Huge starts singing Christmas carols...
49
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- Hugh.
- Hmm?
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- He's called Hugh. Grant.
- The chauffeur... Yeah.
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Huge's chauffeur, out of nowhere,
52
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starts randomly singing with that whole
classically-trained, opera-type voice.
53
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Uh-uh.
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00:02:32,040 --> 00:02:35,160
Sorry, it's not my cup of tea.
I like my films more cinema vérité.
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You can just Venmo me
the money for that later.
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He said that?
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00:02:45,400 --> 00:02:47,800
- Like, for the apple on a stick?
- Yes!
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That's a fucking good one.
59
00:02:51,080 --> 00:02:52,080
Man!
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00:02:52,280 --> 00:02:53,520
OK, give me your phone.
61
00:02:54,040 --> 00:02:54,840
Why?
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00:02:54,920 --> 00:02:57,720
We're going to pimp
your love life situation here.
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00:02:58,120 --> 00:02:59,240
I'd rather you not.
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00:03:00,160 --> 00:03:02,280
- Got it.
- Right. It's not going to work.
65
00:03:02,840 --> 00:03:05,040
How about you get off your ass
and be more proactive,
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not so reactive?
67
00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:08,520
Even Cinderella was proactive.
68
00:03:08,600 --> 00:03:10,720
Well, when I think about it,
she was kind of passive,
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00:03:10,800 --> 00:03:12,800
like, when that prince
was looking for her.
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I want that part of the movie
to die in a fire,
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but, when that shoe fits,
I cry like a little bitch.
72
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Are you sure you're not a gay man inside?
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Hmm? So, what do you want?
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00:03:22,880 --> 00:03:26,040
Women, men, her, they, it, what?
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00:03:26,120 --> 00:03:27,560
- Huh?
- Huh?
76
00:03:27,640 --> 00:03:29,880
- What?
- What? I have no idea what you like.
77
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Don't blame me. You've been celibate
since I moved in here.
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00:03:33,040 --> 00:03:34,160
Men!
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OK. Men.
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00:03:36,440 --> 00:03:37,560
- Yeah.
- How old?
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00:03:38,320 --> 00:03:42,080
- Give or take two or three years.
- That's way too limiting. I'll put seven.
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Huh? No, I mean it.
No more than two years younger.
83
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- Two!
- Look here. Smile!
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Perfect!
85
00:03:48,880 --> 00:03:51,840
- You weren't just playing?
- It's fine. You look totally bangable.
86
00:03:52,360 --> 00:03:53,920
Now I've upgraded your account.
87
00:03:56,760 --> 00:03:57,760
Want more of this?
88
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Yeah. Thanks.
89
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♪ I want you for Christmas ♪
90
00:04:09,920 --> 00:04:11,320
What's in your sprinkle concoction?
91
00:04:11,360 --> 00:04:14,400
There is chocolate, chili, caramel,
92
00:04:14,480 --> 00:04:18,560
thyme, coffee grounds and truffle.
93
00:04:18,640 --> 00:04:20,760
- You're kidding, right?
- I kid you not.
94
00:04:25,640 --> 00:04:26,839
Yeah!
95
00:04:26,920 --> 00:04:29,440
Called that shit!
You're totally a dude magnet.
96
00:04:29,520 --> 00:04:30,600
What are you talking about?
97
00:04:30,640 --> 00:04:32,400
You've already had ten hits
in half a minute!
98
00:04:32,440 --> 00:04:34,200
Let me see! Let me see.
99
00:04:35,840 --> 00:04:36,920
No way!
100
00:04:37,000 --> 00:04:37,880
He's alright.
101
00:04:37,960 --> 00:04:41,560
Wow, wait. "I'm taller than you'd assume."
What is that?
102
00:04:41,640 --> 00:04:46,440
Girl! If this seemingly cute and totally
down-to-earth plumber from Grorud,
103
00:04:46,520 --> 00:04:50,040
who claims to be even taller
than you'd assume, isn't for you,
104
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then you're beyond help,
from me, the universe, the whole shebang.
105
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OK?
106
00:04:54,520 --> 00:04:56,200
And also, a plumber from Grorud?
107
00:04:56,720 --> 00:04:58,320
Sounds like a Harlequin romance.
108
00:04:58,600 --> 00:05:01,240
Plus it's practical:
he can do our bathroom renovations.
109
00:05:02,200 --> 00:05:05,120
So, I date a short plumber guy for what?
A makeover?
110
00:05:05,200 --> 00:05:06,360
Mm-hmm, exactly.
111
00:05:06,760 --> 00:05:08,760
And it says he wants to meet you
at an escape room.
112
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That's romantic AF.
113
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DECEMBER 4TH
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Finally.
115
00:05:15,160 --> 00:05:17,320
Dear mafia brothers, mafia sisters,
116
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welcome to Brooklyn, the year 1952.
117
00:05:20,360 --> 00:05:22,360
Welcome to Chris Donovan's home.
118
00:05:22,440 --> 00:05:24,720
Welcome to the great Christmas mystery.
119
00:05:25,080 --> 00:05:26,840
- Have you done escape rooms before?
- Yeah!
120
00:05:26,920 --> 00:05:28,000
No, I actually haven't.
121
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Here's how it works:
you'll get locked into this room here.
122
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The objective is to look for clues
and solve puzzles
123
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so you can make your way
into the holy room right there.
124
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That's where you'll find the big
Christmas Mystery you'll be solving today.
125
00:05:39,480 --> 00:05:41,120
- Yeah!
- Use your creativity.
126
00:05:41,200 --> 00:05:43,440
- Combine your senses and work together.
- Yeah.
127
00:05:43,840 --> 00:05:44,640
Yeah.
128
00:05:44,720 --> 00:05:47,760
Your Santa hats -
here's one for you and one for you.
129
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Beautiful.
130
00:05:49,480 --> 00:05:51,840
When the door closes,
I'll start the clock.
131
00:05:51,920 --> 00:05:52,920
And remember...
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you never saw me!
133
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OK.
134
00:05:59,760 --> 00:06:01,896
I've got to say,
I think that escalated pretty quickly.
135
00:06:01,920 --> 00:06:03,880
Bitch!
136
00:06:03,960 --> 00:06:06,640
How about that,
you jolly-ass motherfucker? Huh?
137
00:06:08,120 --> 00:06:10,080
- Did that guy really ban me for two years?
- Hmm.
138
00:06:12,040 --> 00:06:14,560
He didn't mean it, do you think?
Because, like...
139
00:06:14,640 --> 00:06:16,760
- He totally did.
- Fuck! That sucks my ass.
140
00:06:17,240 --> 00:06:19,360
I'm just really into escape rooms,
if you can't tell.
141
00:06:22,640 --> 00:06:24,400
- So, like, you and I are...
- No.
142
00:06:24,480 --> 00:06:26,560
- Right? You can feel it, too?
- Yeah, no.
143
00:06:26,960 --> 00:06:27,960
This is fucking rad!
144
00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:30,800
The most awesome date ever, hands down!
145
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OK.
146
00:06:32,360 --> 00:06:33,440
You feel it?
147
00:06:34,280 --> 00:06:36,080
- This sort of...
- Yeah.
148
00:06:40,120 --> 00:06:44,560
That's good. Intellectually, you and I...
We're in such different places.
149
00:06:44,640 --> 00:06:49,400
I thought that I'd just get it out there,
so we can move on and let it go.
150
00:06:49,480 --> 00:06:50,280
Hmm.
151
00:06:50,360 --> 00:06:53,560
Because you are a good woman,
and don't you forget that.
152
00:06:53,640 --> 00:06:54,640
Got it.
153
00:06:54,920 --> 00:06:58,000
I was just thinking, if we're going
to be having discussions in the future,
154
00:06:58,080 --> 00:07:00,720
there would be a problem
if we pretend like...
155
00:07:00,800 --> 00:07:03,840
Wait, stop talking right now.
Do you know what the real problem is?
156
00:07:03,920 --> 00:07:06,480
That I didn't have the self-respect
to just peace out
157
00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:08,720
when you went bananas
and beat the snot out of Santa!
158
00:07:08,800 --> 00:07:13,120
I want a guy who's nice and not crazy,
but obviously that's too much to ask.
159
00:07:13,200 --> 00:07:14,360
I'm so tired of men.
160
00:07:14,440 --> 00:07:16,240
I'm losing my fucking mind!
161
00:07:16,600 --> 00:07:19,560
But you're the one screaming
and leaving. That's not very nice.
162
00:07:19,640 --> 00:07:21,080
- Johanne?
- Hey!
163
00:07:21,840 --> 00:07:22,840
Help me!
164
00:07:23,960 --> 00:07:25,160
- Help.
- Bad day?
165
00:07:25,240 --> 00:07:26,160
More like bad date.
166
00:07:26,240 --> 00:07:28,640
Girls want a nice guy,
but when a nice guy...
167
00:07:30,440 --> 00:07:32,880
- Is he gone?
- He's just kind of standing there.
168
00:07:33,480 --> 00:07:34,680
Why is he standing there?
169
00:07:36,520 --> 00:07:37,400
Is everything alright?
170
00:07:37,480 --> 00:07:39,880
I was just banned for two years
from my favorite escape room.
171
00:07:39,920 --> 00:07:40,920
Oh.
172
00:07:41,040 --> 00:07:42,920
Yeah, about that... Let's not.
173
00:07:43,560 --> 00:07:46,000
- You were just leaving, weren't you?
- Was I?
174
00:07:46,680 --> 00:07:47,680
Yeah.
175
00:07:48,400 --> 00:07:49,400
Yeah.
176
00:07:49,960 --> 00:07:50,960
Yeah.
177
00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:53,120
Call it a day.
178
00:07:57,880 --> 00:08:00,280
How is that dude not your prince charming?
179
00:08:00,680 --> 00:08:02,000
I don't understand anything.
180
00:08:02,080 --> 00:08:05,360
I've been on so many dates,
and these guys talk at and over me.
181
00:08:05,440 --> 00:08:06,760
They don't listen at all.
182
00:08:06,840 --> 00:08:08,080
And I have a lot to say,
183
00:08:08,160 --> 00:08:11,160
if they would just let me
get two words into the conversation,
184
00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:13,080
but they don't want to hear my thoughts.
185
00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:17,040
And I don't get why they would even bother
dating me if they're not interested in...
186
00:08:17,720 --> 00:08:18,760
well, me.
187
00:08:19,840 --> 00:08:20,760
- I get it.
- Yeah?
188
00:08:20,840 --> 00:08:23,920
Why don't you come in
and spill the tea, as they say?
189
00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:25,880
- I could throw in a free drink.
- Well...
190
00:08:25,960 --> 00:08:27,760
- Hey!
- Hi!
191
00:08:27,840 --> 00:08:29,600
- Hi. Hello!
- Hi!
192
00:08:29,680 --> 00:08:30,600
- Gosh.
- Hey.
193
00:08:30,680 --> 00:08:31,560
Hey.
194
00:08:31,640 --> 00:08:34,040
Some last-minute Christmas gift shopping?
195
00:08:34,120 --> 00:08:36,760
How about that? I... You figured me out.
196
00:08:37,240 --> 00:08:38,400
Doing it before Christmas Eve
197
00:08:38,440 --> 00:08:41,280
means I'm not running around
like a chicken with its head cut off.
198
00:08:41,360 --> 00:08:44,039
- So, are you back to crocheting this year?
- Yeah, yeah.
199
00:08:44,440 --> 00:08:45,600
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
200
00:08:45,679 --> 00:08:47,960
Last Christmas, she made presents for us.
201
00:08:48,039 --> 00:08:50,960
Trym adores those ponchos.
He puts them on the kids all the time.
202
00:08:51,440 --> 00:08:53,000
Oh, that's so sweet.
203
00:08:53,640 --> 00:08:56,000
- Well, then...
- Time to get back to the grind, or...
204
00:08:56,080 --> 00:08:58,000
- Right.
- Do you guys want a drink?
205
00:08:58,400 --> 00:08:59,720
To warm up? Why not?
206
00:09:00,280 --> 00:09:01,640
- Yes.
- Listen to your girlfriend.
207
00:09:01,960 --> 00:09:05,360
Yeah, well, actually, I have to work.
208
00:09:05,440 --> 00:09:06,440
Right.
209
00:09:06,800 --> 00:09:07,920
I get it.
210
00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:10,480
- OK, have fun. See you.
- OK, girl.
211
00:09:10,560 --> 00:09:11,840
- Bye.
- See you around.
212
00:09:28,960 --> 00:09:30,216
Hey!
213
00:09:30,240 --> 00:09:31,320
Oh, my God!
214
00:09:31,360 --> 00:09:33,880
Just look at your face!
215
00:09:36,680 --> 00:09:38,040
Are you trying to kill me now?
216
00:09:38,120 --> 00:09:39,200
Yeah.
217
00:09:39,280 --> 00:09:40,960
What a lovely thought!
218
00:09:41,760 --> 00:09:42,760
How are we today?
219
00:09:43,360 --> 00:09:44,960
One foot in the grave.
220
00:09:45,360 --> 00:09:48,200
But that's what gives life such suspense.
221
00:09:48,280 --> 00:09:49,600
At any moment, I could keel over.
222
00:09:50,600 --> 00:09:51,720
The same with cigarettes -
223
00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:54,560
any one of them
could be my last in this life,
224
00:09:54,640 --> 00:09:57,400
and that's why they taste extra good!
225
00:09:58,080 --> 00:10:00,640
But, anyway,
how did it go with your little date?
226
00:10:01,880 --> 00:10:02,880
Yeah...
227
00:10:03,560 --> 00:10:07,400
All my dates have been
a bouquet of flowers dipped in shit.
228
00:10:07,960 --> 00:10:10,280
- Is that a local expression?
- Hmm? Shit?
229
00:10:10,680 --> 00:10:12,960
Stop it!
What am I going to do with you, huh?
230
00:10:13,040 --> 00:10:16,440
How about you don't be so quick
to judge all these poor men?
231
00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:18,080
What do you mean by that?
232
00:10:18,160 --> 00:10:20,560
I mean, dummy,
you need to give them a chance.
233
00:10:20,640 --> 00:10:22,520
Or two. Or three thousand.
234
00:10:23,800 --> 00:10:25,720
That's how I managed to have so much game.
235
00:10:25,800 --> 00:10:28,760
But aren't you, like, the three
or four-time divorce hall of famer?
236
00:10:28,840 --> 00:10:29,640
Sure, sure.
237
00:10:29,720 --> 00:10:33,320
But I can't help the fact that
my milkshake brings them to my yard.
238
00:10:34,400 --> 00:10:36,120
- I can imagine.
- Yeah.
239
00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:38,640
Become more like me
and you'll be a magnet to men.
240
00:10:40,120 --> 00:10:41,800
How about you give me some Trine lessons?
241
00:10:42,440 --> 00:10:46,400
Becoming me isn't something you can learn.
You've either got it, or you don't.
242
00:10:46,720 --> 00:10:48,360
- OK.
- I mean, take a look at you.
243
00:10:48,440 --> 00:10:51,160
- Yeah, what about me?
- Start with that unflattering uniform.
244
00:10:51,560 --> 00:10:53,280
- Where are your girls?
- My girls?
245
00:10:53,360 --> 00:10:54,280
- Yeah.
- Here.
246
00:10:54,360 --> 00:10:56,600
They're not super giant,
but they feel nice.
247
00:10:56,680 --> 00:10:57,840
Put them where I can see.
248
00:10:58,160 --> 00:11:00,880
- Boom!
- Ha! That's what I'm talking about.
249
00:11:00,960 --> 00:11:02,160
- Nice.
- Yeah?
250
00:11:02,240 --> 00:11:05,280
Johanne, give me trouble. Sassy! Go!
251
00:11:05,680 --> 00:11:07,880
And the neck... See, that's good stuff.
252
00:11:07,960 --> 00:11:09,840
More of that, please. Yes!
253
00:11:09,920 --> 00:11:12,440
- Atta girl!
- OK.
254
00:11:12,520 --> 00:11:14,120
Show me. Up!
255
00:11:14,200 --> 00:11:15,800
You've got it.
256
00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:42,160
Hey! Foosky. Foosky?
257
00:11:49,760 --> 00:11:51,080
Enjoying the entertainment?
258
00:11:51,680 --> 00:11:54,760
- Because hospitals are fun and games.
- Sorry.
259
00:11:54,840 --> 00:11:58,320
I have you in 137. Bengt-Erik Løvskog.
260
00:11:58,400 --> 00:12:00,280
- Atrial fibrillation.
- Løvskog?
261
00:12:00,360 --> 00:12:03,000
As in the politician lobbying
to streamline healthcare?
262
00:12:03,080 --> 00:12:04,600
The one and only, yes.
263
00:12:13,520 --> 00:12:14,576
- Hey.
- Hello.
264
00:12:14,600 --> 00:12:15,880
How are you doing today?
265
00:12:16,520 --> 00:12:17,840
Good, but I've felt better.
266
00:12:18,840 --> 00:12:19,840
Fair.
267
00:12:20,360 --> 00:12:22,360
- Your heart looks fine.
- Hmm, really?
268
00:12:22,800 --> 00:12:25,800
Anyway, my name is Johanne
and I'll be taking care of you.
269
00:12:27,200 --> 00:12:31,040
And you would be
the politician Bengt-Erik Løvskog.
270
00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:35,280
Guilty! Can you do me a favor?
271
00:12:35,600 --> 00:12:36,600
Yes, of course.
272
00:12:37,720 --> 00:12:40,800
I've been stuck breathing in
this depressing hospital air.
273
00:12:41,240 --> 00:12:42,320
Uh-huh.
274
00:12:42,400 --> 00:12:44,880
Could you sneak me outside
for some fresh air?
275
00:12:46,320 --> 00:12:47,120
Now?
276
00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:49,400
I've got to be in the great outdoors.
277
00:12:50,680 --> 00:12:54,320
Yeah, well,
your vital signs look pretty good...
278
00:12:55,000 --> 00:12:56,000
so that's fine.
279
00:12:56,440 --> 00:12:57,520
Woohoo.
280
00:12:59,560 --> 00:13:01,880
- Damn, that feels good!
- Hmm.
281
00:13:06,160 --> 00:13:07,160
Tied the knot?
282
00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:09,680
No. Have you?
283
00:13:10,240 --> 00:13:11,360
But she passed.
284
00:13:12,880 --> 00:13:15,760
I took my wife to the movies
when I first asked her out.
285
00:13:15,840 --> 00:13:17,520
- Yeah?
- If you think about it...
286
00:13:18,560 --> 00:13:20,960
Compared to you,
that film would be ancient now.
287
00:13:22,480 --> 00:13:24,200
You weren't even born then.
288
00:13:24,800 --> 00:13:27,000
I don't know know.
I might be older than you think.
289
00:13:27,080 --> 00:13:27,880
Hit me with it.
290
00:13:27,960 --> 00:13:29,960
- I'm thirty.
- I don't believe it.
291
00:13:30,040 --> 00:13:31,280
Just got your learner's permit?
292
00:13:35,960 --> 00:13:39,160
- How long has she been gone?
- Fifteen years.
293
00:13:39,880 --> 00:13:40,880
Cancer.
294
00:13:41,880 --> 00:13:44,160
But I've had other women since, trust me.
295
00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:46,320
I don't doubt it.
296
00:13:46,640 --> 00:13:49,120
This is clearly not a busy shift, huh?
297
00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:51,200
It's quite an adventure
following you around today.
298
00:13:51,280 --> 00:13:52,680
It's been truly eye-opening.
299
00:13:53,400 --> 00:13:54,896
- I guess playtime is over?
- Yes, sir.
300
00:13:54,920 --> 00:13:56,080
Johanne here
301
00:13:56,400 --> 00:13:59,120
enjoys giving patients
the full service experience:
302
00:13:59,200 --> 00:14:00,960
the unapproved walks and strolls,
303
00:14:01,800 --> 00:14:03,600
and things that could get her in hot water
304
00:14:03,680 --> 00:14:06,280
with hospital management,
but most importantly, me,
305
00:14:06,360 --> 00:14:08,120
not that that seems to matter much.
306
00:14:08,520 --> 00:14:11,200
It's been interesting
to see your priorities, Johanne.
307
00:14:11,840 --> 00:14:12,840
Good times.
308
00:14:16,280 --> 00:14:17,480
What do you mean, "dangerous"?
309
00:14:17,520 --> 00:14:19,320
Don't give up
because escape room guy lost it.
310
00:14:19,360 --> 00:14:21,520
Easy for you to say. The dude followed me.
311
00:14:21,880 --> 00:14:24,880
I've been giving it a lot of thought,
and it's like house hunting, you know?
312
00:14:25,320 --> 00:14:27,320
You need to look around, go to viewings...
313
00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:29,200
You never buy the first place you see.
314
00:14:29,560 --> 00:14:33,600
You place some bids here and there,
you lose a few, and then... bam!
315
00:14:33,680 --> 00:14:34,880
There's your dream home.
316
00:14:35,920 --> 00:14:38,320
But you may have to look for six months
before you find it.
317
00:14:38,400 --> 00:14:39,680
Put yourself back out there.
318
00:14:39,760 --> 00:14:42,600
- I'm telling you, it's dangerous.
- Sure, OK.
319
00:14:43,120 --> 00:14:45,720
Escape room plumber guy
was literally crazy.
320
00:14:46,440 --> 00:14:48,480
Nah, we just need a guy
who's a bit sportier.
321
00:14:48,560 --> 00:14:49,480
What?
322
00:14:49,560 --> 00:14:51,160
Except I'm not sporty.
323
00:14:51,240 --> 00:14:53,240
You're way sportier than me.
324
00:14:55,600 --> 00:14:58,640
Like this guy...
Athletic dreamboat. Stein.
325
00:14:58,720 --> 00:14:59,720
Look.
326
00:15:01,360 --> 00:15:02,440
- Not bad!
- Right?
327
00:15:04,840 --> 00:15:05,840
What are you doing?
328
00:15:07,760 --> 00:15:08,760
Sent.
329
00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:11,440
- What did you just send?
- Meet me tomorrow.
330
00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:13,120
Mm-hmm.
331
00:15:15,680 --> 00:15:17,320
- What are you looking at?
- Fuck.
332
00:15:18,640 --> 00:15:20,520
Sporty Stein!
333
00:15:21,720 --> 00:15:22,720
DECEMBER 5TH
334
00:15:33,120 --> 00:15:34,520
Just trying to warm up my triceps.
335
00:15:36,400 --> 00:15:37,400
So I see.
336
00:15:41,920 --> 00:15:43,336
Got it?
337
00:15:43,360 --> 00:15:44,400
Yeah, I think.
338
00:15:45,160 --> 00:15:47,440
- Here. Let's just...
- Oh!
339
00:15:49,080 --> 00:15:50,480
And this guy here...
340
00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:56,280
- It's alright that I'm...?
- Mm-hmm. Oh, sorry!
341
00:15:56,360 --> 00:15:57,760
- I don't...
- One sec.
342
00:15:58,440 --> 00:15:59,560
There you go.
343
00:16:01,200 --> 00:16:02,600
- You all set?
- Mm-hmm.
344
00:16:02,680 --> 00:16:03,680
Let's do it.
345
00:16:06,920 --> 00:16:08,800
- So, like this?
- Mm-hmm.
346
00:16:09,440 --> 00:16:10,440
Like that, yeah.
347
00:16:13,600 --> 00:16:16,600
If you enjoy spinning,
I can get you some bike shoes,
348
00:16:16,680 --> 00:16:18,640
so you can train this part here.
349
00:16:18,720 --> 00:16:20,040
This old thing?
350
00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:22,600
- Sorry for the touch.
- No, it's fine.
351
00:16:25,440 --> 00:16:27,120
It's cool of you to try this out.
352
00:16:27,880 --> 00:16:29,160
Well, I'm sporty, so...
353
00:16:29,640 --> 00:16:31,760
I get so nervous on a first date.
354
00:16:31,840 --> 00:16:33,400
Staring at each other over coffee,
355
00:16:34,080 --> 00:16:35,360
or in a dark movie theater.
356
00:16:35,440 --> 00:16:38,080
Tell me about it. I am so
goddamn over film dates, believe me.
357
00:16:38,160 --> 00:16:39,480
- Yeah?
- Hmm.
358
00:16:41,560 --> 00:16:42,920
A nurse, huh?
359
00:16:43,800 --> 00:16:44,800
Yeah.
360
00:16:45,360 --> 00:16:46,720
That's fantastic.
361
00:16:47,120 --> 00:16:48,480
You guys keep our society running.
362
00:16:49,280 --> 00:16:50,840
Well, you and teachers.
363
00:16:51,840 --> 00:16:54,080
- That's sweet. Thanks a lot.
- I mean it.
364
00:16:56,520 --> 00:16:58,000
Oh! Hey!
365
00:17:01,080 --> 00:17:02,336
- Are you OK?
- I think.
366
00:17:04,360 --> 00:17:05,760
I'll be fine.
367
00:17:06,240 --> 00:17:07,320
- Sorry.
- Are you alright?
368
00:17:10,119 --> 00:17:12,240
Is your crotch broken?
369
00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:15,920
- Yeah.
- Let me help you back up.
370
00:17:18,319 --> 00:17:19,599
How did I do that?
371
00:17:23,599 --> 00:17:26,400
- Thanks for saving my crotch.
- No need to thank me.
372
00:17:26,480 --> 00:17:28,240
It's fun playing the hero.
373
00:17:28,560 --> 00:17:29,560
Yeah.
374
00:17:31,480 --> 00:17:32,480
Oh...
375
00:17:32,839 --> 00:17:33,839
There.
376
00:17:35,080 --> 00:17:36,600
- OK?
- OK.
377
00:17:36,680 --> 00:17:37,840
Let's go!
378
00:17:47,760 --> 00:17:49,080
Thanks for the spin date.
379
00:17:50,560 --> 00:17:51,560
Oh, yeah.
380
00:17:52,440 --> 00:17:53,760
Right back at you, man.
381
00:17:55,120 --> 00:17:56,400
Are you on the mend with...?
382
00:17:58,120 --> 00:17:59,600
- My crotch?
- Mm-hmm.
383
00:18:01,680 --> 00:18:03,200
Yeah, she's doing better.
384
00:18:03,880 --> 00:18:05,040
Do you have plans tomorrow?
385
00:18:07,360 --> 00:18:08,360
No.
386
00:18:08,400 --> 00:18:10,640
- OK.
- Wait, hold on. I've got...
387
00:18:10,720 --> 00:18:12,720
In the afternoon,
I've got to be at the hospital.
388
00:18:13,520 --> 00:18:14,760
Let's go skiing in the morning.
389
00:18:15,440 --> 00:18:16,800
Call me if you have time.
390
00:18:17,320 --> 00:18:18,600
- OK. I will.
- OK?
391
00:18:21,160 --> 00:18:22,800
- See you.
- Alright, bye.
392
00:18:37,560 --> 00:18:39,640
DECEMBER 6TH
393
00:18:44,120 --> 00:18:45,120
Come on.
394
00:18:46,600 --> 00:18:47,600
No!
395
00:18:55,600 --> 00:18:56,600
Ready?
396
00:18:57,240 --> 00:18:58,240
Yep.
397
00:18:58,560 --> 00:18:59,560
Let's go!
398
00:19:17,640 --> 00:19:18,640
Damnit!
399
00:19:25,120 --> 00:19:26,800
How's it going in second place?
400
00:19:29,520 --> 00:19:30,520
Come on!
401
00:19:32,840 --> 00:19:33,840
Looking good!
402
00:19:36,040 --> 00:19:38,000
If you press down hard with your foot,
403
00:19:38,080 --> 00:19:40,440
you'll get a better grip
and center of gravity.
404
00:19:44,720 --> 00:19:45,720
Whoo!
405
00:19:46,160 --> 00:19:47,720
Wet conditions today.
406
00:19:48,960 --> 00:19:50,160
You should get ski skins.
407
00:19:50,840 --> 00:19:52,440
No, they're good.
408
00:19:53,360 --> 00:19:54,880
OK, let's go!
409
00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:00,240
Fuck.
410
00:20:07,080 --> 00:20:08,080
Hi there!
411
00:20:21,480 --> 00:20:23,480
Whoo!
412
00:20:23,560 --> 00:20:27,560
Don't forget what I said.
A better center of gravity like this...
413
00:20:27,640 --> 00:20:29,120
Yeah, I didn't forget.
414
00:20:29,600 --> 00:20:32,600
You don't need to talk to me
like I'm a kindergarten student.
415
00:20:32,680 --> 00:20:35,520
- I'm not three.
- I'm just trying to give you some tips.
416
00:20:35,600 --> 00:20:37,280
- Thanks.
- OK?
417
00:20:37,360 --> 00:20:38,840
- Yes.
- Let's go!
418
00:20:39,320 --> 00:20:40,320
Mm-hmm.
419
00:20:41,320 --> 00:20:42,600
Let's go.
420
00:20:43,120 --> 00:20:44,120
Yeah...
421
00:20:48,160 --> 00:20:49,160
Whoo!
422
00:20:50,720 --> 00:20:51,880
You really fell behind there.
423
00:20:53,040 --> 00:20:55,000
You should have added
some extra wax to your skis.
424
00:20:55,040 --> 00:20:57,200
Yes, exactly.
That's the problem. Thanks, Stein.
425
00:20:57,600 --> 00:20:59,480
I was hoping we'd ski together,
426
00:20:59,560 --> 00:21:02,440
not with you a million miles ahead,
egging me on from the top.
427
00:21:02,520 --> 00:21:05,480
And as soon as I reach it,
you keep making me chase you.
428
00:21:05,560 --> 00:21:07,080
I thought it was kind of flirty.
429
00:21:07,440 --> 00:21:09,480
It's not romantic to embarrass me.
430
00:21:09,840 --> 00:21:12,160
Oh, fuck!
I need to be at work in 20 minutes.
431
00:21:12,760 --> 00:21:15,760
I can give you a ride. Come on.
I have heated seats and everything.
432
00:21:15,840 --> 00:21:19,200
No, thanks. It will be fine.
It's only a couple stops anyway, so yeah.
433
00:21:19,280 --> 00:21:20,280
Yeah, OK.
434
00:21:20,640 --> 00:21:24,360
Let's do something next week.
Something that doesn't raise your pulse.
435
00:21:26,040 --> 00:21:28,160
I have a lot of shifts I'm picking up.
436
00:21:28,680 --> 00:21:32,600
Like, tons of broken bones, diseases,
people overtraining and worse.
437
00:21:33,280 --> 00:21:34,560
So, I'm going to need to go.
438
00:21:34,640 --> 00:21:36,320
I'm super late,
but it was nice seeing you.
439
00:21:36,360 --> 00:21:37,880
- OK, bye!
- OK...
440
00:21:38,840 --> 00:21:40,560
How about the week after next?
441
00:21:49,960 --> 00:21:52,880
Well, what an interesting time
to arrive at work.
442
00:21:52,960 --> 00:21:54,480
And did you ski in today?
443
00:21:54,960 --> 00:21:56,680
Yeah, traffic was a bit of a parking...
444
00:21:56,760 --> 00:22:00,680
Right, so you just skied to the office?
You don't think that's a bit ridiculous?
445
00:22:00,760 --> 00:22:03,280
Yes. No. I mean, no, I think, but...
446
00:22:03,360 --> 00:22:05,600
- Whatever you find amusing.
- Thanks.
447
00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:07,000
Oh, hi!
448
00:22:07,880 --> 00:22:09,200
Oh, God.
449
00:22:09,280 --> 00:22:10,200
- Hi.
- Hi.
450
00:22:10,280 --> 00:22:11,280
You're a skier?
451
00:22:12,120 --> 00:22:13,120
Yep...
452
00:22:14,600 --> 00:22:15,840
What's going on here?
453
00:22:15,920 --> 00:22:17,840
Oh, I'm just going to kill myself!
454
00:22:19,520 --> 00:22:21,280
So, how did it go?
455
00:22:21,600 --> 00:22:22,960
I'm so fucking over this.
456
00:22:23,040 --> 00:22:25,120
I'm never going
on another date again, I swear.
457
00:22:25,840 --> 00:22:28,960
I don't understand why people do this.
I'm anti-dating now!
458
00:22:29,360 --> 00:22:32,360
I just want to meet and have a chat.
It doesn't even need to be good.
459
00:22:32,440 --> 00:22:34,680
I'm fed up with some dumb hipster dude
460
00:22:34,760 --> 00:22:36,880
picking apart
my favorite movie of all time
461
00:22:36,960 --> 00:22:39,640
while I accidentally stand
in piles of reindeer shit.
462
00:22:40,120 --> 00:22:42,960
I don't want to ski Holmenkollmarsjen
until my toes fall off
463
00:22:43,040 --> 00:22:44,480
and there's rug burn up in my fanny.
464
00:22:44,560 --> 00:22:45,560
Sorry for the imagery.
465
00:22:46,080 --> 00:22:49,080
And I definitely don't want
to be locked in an escape room
466
00:22:49,160 --> 00:22:50,400
with some insane little person,
467
00:22:50,440 --> 00:22:52,440
while I count down
the minutes to eternity.
468
00:22:54,480 --> 00:22:57,960
Girl, I feel you. But we have
a lot of dying patients to get to, so...
469
00:22:58,640 --> 00:23:01,320
- Huh. There's that.
- Can you check Mrs. Nergaard first?
470
00:23:01,400 --> 00:23:03,600
- Yeah. OK.
- Yep.
471
00:23:09,840 --> 00:23:12,040
Come on, you stupid piece of...
Stay there.
472
00:23:12,840 --> 00:23:13,840
OK.
473
00:23:16,840 --> 00:23:19,320
Jesus H Christ! Are you kidding me?
474
00:23:19,680 --> 00:23:21,080
Not today, Satan!
475
00:23:25,240 --> 00:23:27,320
I'll send you back to hell
where you belong!
476
00:23:47,320 --> 00:23:50,080
♪ When you meet someone who has someone ♪
477
00:23:50,880 --> 00:23:54,080
♪ Is it your fault if you fall in love? ♪
478
00:23:55,040 --> 00:23:57,840
♪ When you know
That you could hurt someone ♪
479
00:23:58,640 --> 00:24:01,640
♪ Is it your fault if you get involved? ♪
480
00:24:02,040 --> 00:24:04,160
♪ Tried to stay away... ♪
481
00:24:04,240 --> 00:24:05,280
Come on.
482
00:24:05,920 --> 00:24:09,640
♪ But no one gets to me like you ♪
483
00:24:10,040 --> 00:24:13,600
♪ I got everything to lose ♪
484
00:24:13,680 --> 00:24:15,480
♪ Yeah, I know ♪
485
00:24:16,800 --> 00:24:19,920
♪ It's a mistake
And my heart's gonna break ♪
486
00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:24,480
♪ It'll probably take me years
To get over ♪
487
00:24:24,560 --> 00:24:26,240
♪ Even the hurt, yeah ♪
488
00:24:26,320 --> 00:24:29,200
♪ I know that it's worth
All the years it'll take ♪
489
00:24:29,600 --> 00:24:36,040
♪ For me to get over you, you ♪
490
00:24:37,760 --> 00:24:44,360
♪ Years to get over you, you ♪
491
00:24:49,240 --> 00:24:52,040
♪ When you meet someone and have someone ♪
492
00:24:53,080 --> 00:24:55,760
♪ And you're falling in and out of love ♪
493
00:24:57,200 --> 00:24:59,720
♪ And when you're close to giving up ♪
494
00:25:00,800 --> 00:25:03,840
♪ Just to give in to another touch ♪
495
00:25:03,920 --> 00:25:07,480
♪ You'll be coming home to me ♪
496
00:25:07,560 --> 00:25:11,520
♪ Sleeping where you shouldn't be ♪
497
00:25:11,600 --> 00:25:13,960
Check this out. You're the dude whisperer!
498
00:25:16,880 --> 00:25:20,280
Where's the age limit? And did you do
that bullshit of swiping right all guys?
499
00:25:20,360 --> 00:25:21,560
Yes, see here!
500
00:25:22,320 --> 00:25:25,160
Behind each dick pic is a guy
with a heart of gold, or at least a guy.
501
00:25:25,240 --> 00:25:27,240
And you have 28 of them to choose from.
502
00:25:30,280 --> 00:25:32,040
Like him. He's real hot.
503
00:25:32,120 --> 00:25:33,120
Jonas.
504
00:25:34,320 --> 00:25:37,680
- If you're into 19-year-olds.
- A grade A fuckboy.
505
00:25:38,080 --> 00:25:39,320
But what do I say?
506
00:25:39,680 --> 00:25:42,880
"Hey, I see you like long walks at sunset,
dubstep and MILFs."
507
00:25:43,560 --> 00:25:45,920
You could maybe open up with hello.
508
00:25:46,560 --> 00:25:49,480
- He's 19.
- You need to take control. Yeah?
509
00:25:49,880 --> 00:25:52,960
If it doesn't work, then it doesn't work,
but at least it's your call, right?
510
00:25:53,040 --> 00:25:55,120
Find your spirit animal. Channel it.
511
00:25:55,200 --> 00:25:56,440
Are you serious?
512
00:25:57,000 --> 00:25:58,320
- OK.
- Channel it.
513
00:25:59,000 --> 00:26:01,200
- Harness your inner tiger. He's 19.
- Really?
514
00:26:01,280 --> 00:26:03,000
You totally have more experience.
515
00:26:04,920 --> 00:26:05,920
That remains to be seen.
516
00:26:07,800 --> 00:26:10,520
Put on that short-ass,
bitching sparkly dress.
517
00:26:10,960 --> 00:26:14,600
And then the ball will be in your court.
Hopefully, they will be his balls.
518
00:26:14,960 --> 00:26:17,160
- Proactive seduction.
- Exactly.
519
00:26:32,080 --> 00:26:33,880
DECEMBER 7TH
520
00:26:34,680 --> 00:26:37,080
SORRY ABOUT THE SKI TRIP.
521
00:26:37,160 --> 00:26:38,520
COFFEE SOMETIME?
522
00:26:58,280 --> 00:26:59,680
Johanne?
523
00:27:03,840 --> 00:27:04,840
Jonas?
524
00:27:06,160 --> 00:27:07,160
Hey.
525
00:27:10,080 --> 00:27:13,240
Bubbles first, then dancing,
or dancing first and bubbles later?
526
00:27:15,160 --> 00:27:16,400
Bubbly first.
527
00:27:21,600 --> 00:27:23,360
My pops. On Pop's card.
528
00:27:30,000 --> 00:27:32,720
- Cheers...
- Yeah, cheers to Papa.
529
00:27:45,240 --> 00:27:46,320
- No!
- I was two.
530
00:27:46,360 --> 00:27:49,080
- Like, in diapers? It's hard to hear.
- I don't remember any of it.
531
00:27:49,640 --> 00:27:50,640
Oh, my God.
532
00:27:50,680 --> 00:27:52,040
Holy shit. That's wild.
533
00:28:24,440 --> 00:28:30,760
♪ Our story's after the end
Like strangers ♪
534
00:28:31,280 --> 00:28:35,280
♪ Perfect pretenders ♪
535
00:28:35,720 --> 00:28:40,200
♪ We're falling head over heels
For something that ain't real ♪
536
00:28:40,920 --> 00:28:42,240
♪ It could never be us ♪
537
00:28:44,480 --> 00:28:46,960
- Are your parents coming home?
- No, they're in Stockholm.
538
00:28:47,520 --> 00:28:48,840
OK. OK.
539
00:28:59,720 --> 00:29:00,920
Oh, I'm going to come.
540
00:29:12,600 --> 00:29:14,000
- Uh!
- Holy shit!
541
00:29:28,920 --> 00:29:30,520
Is this real?
542
00:29:35,600 --> 00:29:37,000
Wait, not so hard. Not so hard.
543
00:29:37,080 --> 00:29:38,840
- OK.
- OK.
544
00:29:40,400 --> 00:29:41,440
A little harder than that.
545
00:29:44,480 --> 00:29:45,560
Oh, yeah.
546
00:29:47,320 --> 00:29:48,520
I'm coming.
547
00:30:09,160 --> 00:30:10,320
OK.
548
00:30:29,160 --> 00:30:30,160
Oh, my God...